Week 9 NFL Picks: Lock City Hits the Road

Last Week: 4-1 Season: 19-21

Another big week in the books. I’m catching more Ws than Eagles receivers are catching…anything. This week we have a common theme to our picks- they’re mostly road favorites. Around this time of year I love to take road favorites as home field isn’t as valuable as it was at the beginning of the season due to bad weather, less fans in the stadium, and great teams rising from the rest. Let’s go!

Houston (-1) vs Jacksonville*

*in London

I seriously feel bad for London. First they get to see Chase Daniel try to wheel and deal and now we send them AFC South football. While this matchup has always been ugly, I love the Texans. Deshaun Watson has proved that he shows up for big games and that no defense can really slow him down. While the Texans’ defense will be missing J.J. Watt (maybe you shouldn’t have traded Clowney, Bill!) I expect the defense to give Gardener Minshew a tough time across the pond.

New York Jets (-3) at Miami

Sam Darnold, fresh off of recovering from making out with a lady of the night and seeing ghosts on the field against the Patriots and Jaguars, is actually somehow underrated in this one. For some reason, Vegas is overvaluing the Dolphins’ first half performance against the Steelers on Monday night. FitzRosen won’t be able to resist throwing interceptions to the deceptively fast New York secondary, while Le’Veon Bell will run all over the Fins. The only thing exciting about this game will be the shots of Aqib Talib looking like he is having a bad acid trip mixed with a mid-life crisis. Jets by double digits.

Green Bay (-3.5) at Los Angeles Chargers

Green Bay at Los Angeles Chargers (under 49)

This is one of the more interesting lines of the season. If the Chargers were at home, this would make sense, being around 4 points in the Packers’ favor. Now, I know you either just reread that sentence or looked back at the headline and got confused because it says the Chargers ARE in fact at home in this one. Wrong. As you may know, Chargers fans are consistently outnumbered by the opposing fans in almost every game they play. The more popular a team is nationally, the more that disparity grows.

Look at the color of the crowd.

The Packers and their top-five national fanbase will roll into Los Angeles and consume that soccer stadium. It will be 70, maybe 80 percent Packers fans. Shouldn’t that count when considering the line of this game? I mean, Phil Rivers’ war-chest of kids only takes up about 11 seats! The Packers’ defense will make more noise this in Los Angeles this week than Patrick Beverly after he finishes with 5 points and 2 steals, so I like the under here too.

New England (-3) at Baltimore

If you read me weekly, you know that there has been no team I have bet on more than the New England Patriots. Although this is the Patriots’ first real game of the season, I’m going to stick with them until they lose. It’s that simple.

Chicago at Philadelphia (under 41)

After the Eagles regained new life last week in an impressive win against the Bills, I am banking on them regressing back to disappointing. The Bears, on the other hand, house one of the grossest offenses I have ever seen. While the Eagles defense has been shaky this year, I can’t see the Bears putting up more than 14 points on the road. Their defense, however, should be able to slow down the Eagles’ inconsistent offense just enough for this one to go under.

Number of My Own Children I Will Name After My Personal Lord and Savior Ryan Tannehill (over 2.5)

Hammer it.

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